I return from vacation to find myself in the same situation! 
  
It's a common speech. Work management, coworker relationships, communication difficulties, (from intimacy to routine management), the couple's life, and the ghost of monotony. The looming threat posed by the upcoming challenges remains. Am I capable of doing this? 
 
Returning to the old routine is frequently marked by this type of anxiety, especially after a vacation that was exhausting for some (either because the children don't give rest, or because they were constantly traveling, or the decision was to go to festivals where sleep and rest were scarce). The two days before returning to work will never be enough to replace what needs to be replaced. 
 
As a result, the possibilities for emotional disorganisation are numerous. Feeling unhappy, frustrated, angry, and lost leads to the desire to make a change. Despite the fact that the distress has been installed, people tend to procrastinate, reliving the same discomforts to which they have resigned themselves. 
 
The person feels and thinks [1], but without an effective action that results from this reflection, disproportionate movements (more in or out) will occur, as will psychosomatic manifestations such as extreme tiredness, acute headache, sinusitis, rhinitis (and other itis), immobilising muscle pain, low blood pressure, possible fainting, and difficulties falling asleep. 
 
This prompts the individual to seek medical explanations, which almost always result in nothing more than a probable medical prescription and eventual sick leave. It is a risky solution because it does not address the underlying issue. 
What to change? 
What should be changed first? 
How to make this change? 
How to make this change? 
 
Change-related mystifications (fears). 
  
Any change has unavoidable consequences for other aspects of life that we take for granted. That is why it is so difficult to consistently create/implement concrete measures that allow for these changes. 
 
A classic example is: "How can I go to the gym if I have to pick up the kids at that hour?" Many parents adopt "holding responsibility" for their children in order to keep everything the same. Even when the individual sees other possibilities, something quickly emerges that overlaps, creating additional obstacles. It’s the dog, the cat, the mother-in-law, the parakeet, the report, the work inspection, the residents' association, everything starts to overlap you. 
 
A small but important change sometimes implies (significant logistical) changes around you. The individual tends to amplify the impact of this change, which naturally has a period of adaptation[2] and gradual accommodation. Once integrated, the chances of achieving the desired change increase. However, success is not guaranteed because there are numerous temptations that can lead a person back to the previous position. Advances backs are natural parts of the process. 
 
It is critical to remember that it takes time for old habits to give way to new ones. Doing things differently always carries a high level of uncertainty about the likelihood of success (the possibility of success is also frightening precisely because it contradicts what has always been believed). 

The individual is confronted with several factors that cause him to hesitate, the first and most significant of which is "being alone." These are strictly private processes that only he is aware of. Thoughts, insecurities, and feelings run within you, which is why it is critical to seek specialised help that allows you to go through this process with someone by your side. This help will undoubtedly make a difference! 

 

 
[1] Thought without action (inaction) frequently results in (self)punitive/(self)aggressive movements motivated by guilt or blame. Ex: I didn't do it because I am lazy, or I didn't do it because the other person wouldn't let me. 

[2] A critical period that requires greater ability to deal with the new, in which even pleasure (in what you experience) evokes discomfort and the temptation to return to the previous register. 
 

 

Miguel Rodrigues is a Psychotherapist and Clinical Psychologist. 

He works under a multitude of topics such as depression, anxiety, separation, divorce, psychological distress, burnout, psychosomatic illness, eating disorders, addictions, mood instability, bipolarity, schizophrenia, confusional states, suicidal ideation, intrusive and disorganizing thoughts, panic attacks, difficulty sleeping/resting/taking a vacation, disorientation, prolonged unemployment, difficulty in a professional career, ill-adjusted family relationships